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September 28, 2012

The Tuesday, September 18, 2912 issue of The Guardian gives us some interesting information about abuse in young couple relationships.

  • Coercive control in relationships is more prevalent than many officials suspected, especially in teen relationships.
  • Coercive control by one partner over the other is cyclical and uses emotions, finances, self esteem, isolation from family and friends, psychology as well as verbal and physical abuse to maintain control over the other partner.
  • More and more teens in our society today seem to accept abuse as normal in a relationship. This, at the same time as the incidents of teen partner abuse are escalating. A most disturbing trend.
  • Domestic abuse has always been treated as an adult issue, but given the increased incidents in teen relationships, authorities in the UK are turning to looking at it, and treating it, as child abuse, too.

 If you are a parent of a teen, it’s imperative that you discuss this issue with your daughters. Sons, too. Love means sharing, not hitting. If you suffer from domestic violence in your home, consider strongly that it is time to get out. Stop providing the absolutely wrong example of domestic interaction to your children. 

As we have discussed before, our children observe and mimic our behavior. They can translate the violence in your home as normal in familial relationships. I know you don’t want that. You may think that you alone in the family are the only victim of your partner’s abuse, but you’re not. Your children are, too. Even though they are not physically injured. 

While they would like to be considered so, teens are not adults. The UK may be on the right track in treating the abuse of a teen girl as child abuse. This action may get the victims more help and faster help. If she were raped, the young man would be treated as an adult child molester. Why not as an adult child abuser also? 

It is heartening to see that many communities are taking a fresh look at domestic violence and branching out into new methods of handling the problem. I salute all of them. Unfortunately, this is an ongoing battle. Women who need to break free increase in number each day. 

Have you new ideas on treating this problem? Please share them with us. E mail me at or reply to or comment on this post. 

Peace, CLW




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